19. Dear Sasha

Dear Sasha,
I still haven't heard from you. Happy new year. I'm sending you this as a little cute joke gift. It reminds me of your parents and the advice they would try to give us.



S.

p.s. did you and your brother ever talk about the time he caught us?

18. Sasha

Dear Merve,

This is Sasha and this is my story. It's mine - not yours, not hers, and not the version you'd get from any of my clients. I'm a hooker living in Germany (I won't say exactly where, and please understand) and I'm not German and I like it all that way. It's helps me separate the past from the present and know that future is somewhere else, and that whenever hooking doesn't work for me any longer I can just go there, wherever. For now I'm happy, don't get me wrong. This life as an American ex-pat hooker isn't all it's cracked up to be and it sure is a lot of sweaty, dirty work, but it's good, and it's mine. And I like it.

And that ninny Sally (aka S., which is so stupid, by the way) wants to take it away from me. More about her later, unfortunately.

The name my parents gave me is Sasha and I want you to know the real story. My hooker name is Kirsche. I have a small round mouth with nice plump lips and when I lay on the lipstick, it's just all a little cherry in the middle of my face. Kirsche = cherry. Cute, isn't it? And it isn't hard to explain to the dumb ones. All clients get it and they think it's cute. Cute is the game I play. I play kitten and tiny and bubbly and you can pick me up and throw me around. All that stuff most men like. Most men who pay for sex anyway.

I specialize in fur. Anywhere. Just ask for it. Fur is my game. Meow!

So, about Sally. I mean, "S.," as she seems to need privacy these days. My god, the woman is so freaky and always has been. Remember when she stayed up all night long making finger puppets of the nativity scene? Baby Jesus had hair to her knuckles. Unnatural.

She's writing me. Like, constantly. I don't know how she found me but she's calling me Sasha so far and hasn't referred to my job. She hasn't even asked me about it. She probably thinks I'm a fucking foreign exchange student. I should tell her I give discounted blow jobs to the exchange students, see what she says about that. She'd freak out and you know it.

What the hell am I going to do about her? Help me! I'm afraid she's going to fly over here with her nasty little stinky mutt and track me down. I don't want to get the German police all in my business, so I have to avoid this happening. Help, please.

Sasha

p.s. I sure do miss you, baby.

maze

irish wolfhound photo

Yesterday, Laurie and I saw an Irish Wolfhound for the first time. Yes, they are really this big and no, this was not the one. I just google image searched said dog and this came up and I FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR LAUGHING. This photo is priceless.

This is the dog for me.

17. Dear Sasha

Dear Sasha,
it's almost a new year. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? I'm gonna strap on my boots and run. Slap! Gimme a buck, I'll show you.

S.

p.s. dear, dear Sasha.

mi piel se puso en guardia

Audio may be NSFW (Not Safe For Work) (in Spanish)



Via: Type for you

Link: xnographics studio

animated first crushes

Via: drawn

Made by: Julia Pott

pet library chairs

Link: Makezine

fabulous bedspread

I very, very much like this and said "ooooooo" when I saw it here.

better than tag clouds

Information Aesthetics did it again. Their post on swarm related videos is incredible.

16. Dear Sasha

Dear Sasha,
I'm officially mad.

I wish I could tell you how mad I've been for all these years.

I wish we could play Twister and do algebra homework before dinner and then watch a movie or play Monopoly or Clue with your parents.

I wish we could wear swim suits and leotards and stand in the front yard pretending to be sexy statues.

I wish you could show me your training bra and laugh at my jealousy.

I wish your sister could wedge her way between and make us scream at her.

Remember your pimento cheese spread? I hated that shit.

I am so mad at you.

S.

p.s. Mad!

15. Dear Sasha

Dear Sasha,
winter has definitely descended. Bucky and I went for a walk last night and I knew it was cold when his little toes were laced with ice globs. I asked him to sniff for you. He's no inspector puppy but he sometimes feels up to a challenge. You, my dear, are the challenge of the decade. He sniffed around a little on each block and seemed very disappointed and uninspired. Poor Buck-o. I got his hopes raised too high that he'd get to meet his auntie Sasha.

Unless that's too presumptuous of me? You'd be a good auntie if you could just see his curls.

So for now I'll set up the doggie treadmill in the basement because it's too damn cold outside for any small creature. Especially my beloved.

S.

p.s. When the going gets tough, Sasha, the tough pick up the phone.

poetry stand

How a precocious group of high school poets learned to provide verse on demand.

And so, in the most natural way, people drifted over to the poetry stand to get their free poems. The kids delegated the assignments among themselves based on a batting order we drew up on the ride over, but they made exceptions if a particular request played to one of their strengths. A girl in jeans and a bandana wanted a love poem for Dick Cheney. “Dick Cheney? I got this,” said Zebbi...

From our bench Rich and I watched the greeters intercept people and enjoyed hearing reports of how far the scouts had ventured to send back customers. We tried to predict who would approach the poetry stand on their own and who wouldn’t. A stout guy in a Yankees cap veered toward the tables, then stopped. “C’mon, c’mon,” we rooted. He passed by, then looped back again. It was first-rate people-watching, and it made me wonder about the place of poetry in the lives of ordinary Americans. I thought of the public faces of people; and I thought of the pure emotion that wells up from reading poetry. Who “looks” like they’d be into poetry? Nobody — with the possible exception of those walking around barefoot in wings or a bed sheet. Who loves poetry? Given the right context, everyone who loves music.

14. Dear Sasha

Dear Sasha,
I gave up waiting to hear back. You probably noticed my lack of chatter.

I saved you some Halloween candy because I wondered if you had Halloween in Germany and I didn't want you to be deprived of it another year.

Let me know where to mail it and I will ASAP.

S.

p.s. Will you send pictures of your home and such? By the way, Bucky has anal sac adnocarcinoma.

happy birthday Hugo Minor

happy happy 30th birthday Hugo Hugo Minor Minor!

New camerA

What a difference a lens makes! This photo was taken with my new camera, the Canon Rebel XTi. Look at this beautiful cat!

Underwater sculpture garden

This under water sculpture garden in Granada, West Indies was started by Jason Taylor. It seems that there are several pieces there.

Can you imagine how creepy it would be to come upon this while scuba diving?



Visit: http://www.underwatersculpture.com/
Via: Jenna's shared items

Multimedia message

Rainbow gum.

cutting edge maps

I just found this via monoscope. Cutting edge maps.

laptop idea

Datamancer.net has made these incredible laptop and desktop computers.